


Accruing Interest

by kelspots



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Bank AU, Cecil is Awkward, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 21:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2041050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelspots/pseuds/kelspots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a new bank teller in town, listeners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accruing Interest

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meveret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meveret/gifts).



> Happy birthday to my birthday buddy Meveret! Hope you had as good a birthday reading this as I did writing it. Birthday birthday birthday.
> 
> This is loosely based on an experience I had at the bank that spiraled out of control in my head.

Running errands. Always a waste of an afternoon, which is why Cecil had put them off this long. Long enough that he had two paychecks to deposit and only 73 cents in his checking account, so his first stop of the day was the bank. 

Grumbling at the long line of cars in the drive-thru, he whipped into a parking space. Once in the lobby, however, his muttering was cut short when he laid eyes on the new teller. The new GORGEOUS teller, with an amazing smile and perfect hair. Cecil didn’t realize he’d been staring until Mr. Gorgeous Teller aimed a smile his way and asked, “How may I help you today?”

Cecil gulped, a million responses running through his mind and none of them appropriate for the public setting he was in. He settled for stuttering out a few almost-words and thrusting his paychecks at the other man - Carlos, his nameplate read - while feeling his face heat up steadily.

“And what would you like to do with these checks today, Mr. uh,” Carlos the beautiful bank teller glanced down, showing off his stunning eyelashes, “Palmer?”

“Cecil! Um, just Cecil is fine. I want to, um, uh, deposit them?”

“All right Cecil,” and Cecil nearly melted, hearing his name in the caramel voice, “do you have a deposit slip?”

“Oh. Uh, no? I mean, can you fill me out? Ah! I mean do you, do you have one for me to fill up? Out! Fill out!”

Was it Cecil’s imagination, or was perfect Carlos smirking at him? “Of course, Cecil, here you are. Do you know your account number or would you like me to look it up?” Cecil couldn’t do more than give Carlos a helpless look. Carlos was definitely smirking now. “I’ll just look it up for you.”

As Cecil tried to remember how to spell his own name, Carlos typed something into the computer. “Oh, you live on Shoreline Lane? I just moved in around the corner! Why is it called Shoreline Lane if there’s no shore, by the way?”

“Oh, well, there was a whole lakefront recreation area planned, but the funding fell through. Probably because we’re, you know, in the desert,” Cecil laughed somewhat hysterically. He handed Carlos his deposit slip.

As the Carlos processed the transaction, he continued to effortlessly make small talk. Cecil let the words wash over him, not really paying attention until he heard, “...maybe we’ll run into each other on the sidewalk one day.”

“That would be neat!” Cecil blurted out. Horrified at his embarrassing comeback, he grabbed his receipt from Carlos and fled the scene.  
\-----

Three days. It had been three days since the Bank Incident, as he was calling it in his head, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Carlos. Beautiful, perfect Carlos, with his soft, silky hair (probably) and his amazing smile (definitely) and his totally fuckable -

Well. Let’s just say that Cecil had been thinking about Carlos a lot. Non-stop, really, if his recent dreams were anything to go by. Which is why Cecil was currently digging through drawers and looking under couch cushions for all the change he could scrounge up. Hopefully it would add up to a decently sized deposit and he wouldn’t have to think of another reason to stop by the bank. Remembering the half-full mug of coins on his mess of a desk, he gathered up his meager findings and headed to his new favorite business.

The branch looked deserted that day, but Cecil didn’t even think about the empty drive-thru. Thinking it would be weird to bring a mug full of change in, he dumped everything into a baggie that had been on the floor of his car for at least 2 weeks. Nervous and hopeful, he took a deep breath and headed inside.

“Welcome to the First Bank of Night Vale, Cecil. Nice to see you again!” As Cecil’s brain was occupied with mentally screaming that CARLOS REMEMBERS ME! HE REMEMBERS MY NAME! it was no surprise that he didn't see the wet floor sign. Tripping not on the slippery floor but the sign itself and sending it clattering loudly across the lobby, Cecil did at least manage to spill his plastic bag of change all over the counter instead of the floor, so things weren’t as bad as they could have been. Still though, here he was in front of his (crush? obsession?) totally red-faced AGAIN.

“Um. Uh. I, uh, want to make a deposit?” Cecil started gathering his scattered money into a pile, muttering apologies. When he glanced up, Carlos was smirking at him again.

“You look like you could use a sucker,” said that smooth voice, and Cecil froze. His brain tried desperately to remember if he’d ever heard that particular euphamism for blow job before. When Carlos pulled a basket of lollipops from under the counter, Cecil’s blank stare prompted the teller to ask, “What flavor would you like?”

“Flavor? Fla- oh! _Sucker_! Ha! I thought you- No! I’ll take this one! I have to go!” As Cecil swept his mound of change into the upturned hem of his shirt, Carlos called after him about his deposit, a definite smile in his voice.

\---

Every time Cecil replayed the scene in his head, it was worse. He bemoaned his embarrassing behavior to anyone who would listen: his friend Earl Harlan, whatever the new intern’s name at work was, his entire bowling team. None of them were any help. They agreed that FBNV’s new teller was certainly gorgeous and laughed at Cecil’s misfortune, but they didn’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation. Cecil needed to have a normal interaction with Carlos, otherwise he’d never agree to a coffee date or marriage proposal! Everyone he talked to just said to go back to the bank again, and act normal. Hmmph. Cecil didn’t even know what normal was anymore.

Fortunately, an opportunity presented itself. He needed to withdraw some cash and the ATM was out of order, so for the third time in eight days, Cecil found himself entering the bank. A bored teenage girl greeted him, and he felt his heart drop to his knees. He never considered that Carlos would have the day off! Feeling personally offended by the girl’s existence, he told her that he needed to make a withdrawal and buy a money order.

“Oh. I don’t, like, know how to do that? Let me get my manager.” She disappeared into the back as Cecil huffed out an impatient sigh.

“What can I do for you, sir? Oh, it’s my favorite customer!” Carlos’s voice immediately lifted Cecil’s mood. It also brought a wave of anxiety, and Cecil stumbled against the counter as his eyes grew wide.

“Money!” Cecil nearly yelled. He cleared his throat. “I mean! Money order! I need one! Ha!” Oh gods, he could feel himself turning red, as usual. Fortunately, Carlos seemed to be getting used to Cecil’s humiliating behavoir.

“Sure thing. It’ll be a good chance to teach Maureen! This is very exciting.” The teen certainly didn’t seem very excited, but Cecil wasn’t paying any attention to her. He gazed at Carlos, watching him work and listening to him talk. When the transaction was complete, he told Maureen to take her break. She shrugged and walked into a side office.

“Here you go, Cecil.” That same thrill went through Cecil’s body, hearing his name come out of Carlos’s mouth. But then Carlos lowered his voice and looked up at Cecil through those remarkable eyelashes. “Have I fulfilled all of your banking needs?”

Cecil would deny to his dying day that he definitely did NOT squeak out an ‘oh gods yes!’ and run out the door.

\---

Enough was enough. He was a grown man, for crying out to the void. There was no reason for Cecil to get this flustered around a guy, even if that guy was gorgeous and perfect. He’d asked plenty of people out in his life. And he was positive Carlos was flirting with him last time! No one makes ‘banking needs’ sound so seductive unless they’re coming onto you. It was time to put on his big boy pants and do this. (Metaphorically. He actually put on his laciest thong because it made him feel the most fearless.)

Parking his car, Cecil steeled himself and walked inside to - wait in line?! Of course he’d pick the busiest time of day to do this. Well, no turning back now. He stood behind John Peters, you know, the farmer? and tried not to think about what he was going to say. Finally it was his turn.

“Cecil, hi! What can I help you with today?” Carlos said with a bright smile. Before waiting for an answer, he let his voice drop deeper and offered a pamphlet about the bank’s new money market accounts.

Cecil refused to be thrown by a grown man making the word ‘pamphlet’ sound seductive. “I-don’t-have-any-money-do-you-want-to-go-to-dinner-tonight?” Going back over what he said, Cecil slapped a hand over his eyes before backtracking. “I mean, I have money, just not with me. To deposit! I don’t need to make a deposit! I just wanted to ask you out to dinner. Which I can pay for! With my money!”

Carlos, outright laughing at Cecil this time, pulled the hand away from his face. “Cecil. That would be neat.”

**Author's Note:**

> *See also: this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPZucY0wZyQ


End file.
